Helping Your Child With Bullying

Bullying is defined as an act where a physically stronger child who may resort to punching, hitting or even sexual assault repetitively picks on a child. Children often face bullying while growing up and it may make them scared, embarrassed and left out. Thousands of children are afraid to go to school today. A majority of children who resort to bullying themselves feel weak or threatened and use it as a tool to feel greater than others or simply better about themselves.

The Bully Psychology

To understand the menace of bullying and to help your child deal with it, it’s important to understand the psychology of a bully. Bullying is a way of gaining popularity and attention among kids. Some kids themselves feel small inside and resort to bullying to feel bigger and better. Most bullies have been bullied upon themselves.

Some children, who resort to bullying come from dysfunctional families and are subject to domestic violence, both physical and verbal. This reassures them of their behavior and makes them feel that calling people names, hitting them or pushing them around is a normal way to act.

Help Your Children Help Themselves

First and foremost, be open to what your children have to say and take them seriously. They are “little people” who generally understand most of the stuff you do so be careful not to take them for granted. Once they lose trust in you, it will be hard to make them talk about all other problems they may be facing as well.

• * Tell your children to steer clear of the bully and take a different route to school or to the school canteen. This doesn’t mean that your children have to skip classes or go into hiding.
• * You need to let your children stand up for themselves and be brave. When ever a person looks and acts in a brave way, he generally sends a similar message around.
• * All kids need to feel good inside so encourage them into adopting healthy habits of eating, hygiene and personal conduct but don’t ever force your ways onto them.
• * You need to encourage your children to play with other children and form lasting friendships. This will teach them the value of healthy relationships and show them how they can stand up for each other when a situation arises. Children need to do things together as a part of their “getting independent process”.
• * Bullies only want children to react to them just once triggering the whole humiliation process. Politely explain to them that they need to ignore the bully and safeguard themselves.
• * Let your children know that they neither should give in to the bully’s demands nor bully him back. This may require a lot of self-control and anger management. Use these times to teach you kids a thing or two about these factors as well.  If things get really bad, ask them to get help from an adult, especially a teacher.
• * Lastly Children should know that bullying is wrong and their subsequent win over a bully does not give them a license to start bullying themselves.

Ask your children to take a stand, become a member of the school anti-violence program, try talking over to a bully indirectly but never to give in!